


Monster is a Relative Term

by A_Sirens_Lullaby



Category: Haikyuu!!, Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Im apologizing ahead of time, Multi, because not everyone is going to make it, someone may or may not end up eaten by a dino
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6824803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Sirens_Lullaby/pseuds/A_Sirens_Lullaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime likes to think he's a very patient man. Not everyone agrees with that belief of course, but at this point they can go fuck themselves because yes, he is, thank you very much. If he weren't a patient man then he would never have been hired for a job that requires, you guessed it, <i>patience.</i>  How he deals with Oikawa Tooru on a daily basis does not count against that fact. Nor the Raptors currently trying to eat them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Investors are Idiots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_My_Characters_Are_Dead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_My_Characters_Are_Dead/gifts).



> Hello everyone! So All_My_Characters_Are_Dead sort of inspired me to pick back up writing again, and of course the first thing I write in years is something involving dinosaurs and death. Lets see how this goes.

“You have _got_ to be kidding.” is possibly the worst thing Iwaizumi Hajime could blurt out to a group of potential investors that decided on a last minute visit to his section of the park. Following closely behind by are “Are you out of your damn mind?” and “Don’t answer that, of course you are.” and if he’s honest it’s a miracle that none of the investors have just up and left yet. If he were in their shoes he probably would have done the smart thing and left the moment he saw the unacknowledged and _highly underpaid_ ex-military thug so much as open his mouth. Except he’s not them, he’s not doing the smart thing, he  _is_ the ex-military thug and he is so  _extremely fucking livid_ at the moment to really give a fuck anymore _._

“I’m sorry?”

Iwaizumi can’t help but snort at the affronted look that crosses the head investors face, because ‘ _no you’re_ not _sorry, if that were the case we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.’_ Apparently, his amusement is not appreciated, and the frown deepens on the man. He wonders if they’ll just get fed up with him and leave, but judging from the glare he is getting from the Parks Operations manager, he isn’t holding his breathe.

“Iwaizumi-san,” The head investor-Ushijima wasn’t it?- began again. “If you have a problem with this decision, you are more than free to file a complaint.”

Ignoring the frantic gestures the Operations Manager was throwing at him, possibly describing all the ways he’s going to kill Iwaizumi the moment the investors leave if the stabbing motion was anything to go by, Iwaizumi merely crossed his arms as Ushijima stared down at him, the slightest flicker of irritation on his otherwise impassive face. “I just did though. Didn’t you hear? Or is the sound of money all you people can hear these days?”

Oikawa Tooru had apparently heard enough at this point, as the indignant shriek he let out as Iwaizumi felt himself be _shoved_ away from the investors group nearly deafened him. “Okay then! I’m afraid we are running on a tight schedule at the moment, and if you wish to see the rest of the Park Ushijima-san, i suggest we move on to the next attraction. Sugawara has just finished preparing it for us and it would be rude to keep him waiting. His tours are always highly sought out and his schedule is quite booked for the day. If you would?”

Oikawa puts on his sincerest looking smile to throw at the group of investors, Iwaizumi hidden safely behind him, and barely keeps himself from sighing in relief when Ushijima merely nods his approval. “This way then, if you’d please?”

It takes Iwaizumi everything he has to bite his tongue from bidding them a _proper_ goodbye, preferably with the very things that they were oh so interested in. Instead he glares at the ones who straggle behind, obviously displeased with being forced away, but not wanting to disobey their boss.

When the last of the investors walk out the room, Iwaizumi can finally feel himself able to breathe for the first time that day. He moves from where he’s been leaning against his desk, determined to salvage at least a few hours of this trainwreck by actually doing something _productive_ , like what he had been hired to do in the first place. Maybe he could convince Watari to let him do another drill with his boys, take out some anger that way. He’s just about to head out and do just that, when he notices Oikawa is still standing facing the door the investors walked out of.

“Oi, what the he-”

“You can’t just keep your mouth shut when asked, can you?”

It’s hissed so quietly between clenched teeth that had Iwaizumi not been paying attention, he would have missed it completely. As it is, he is paying attention just fine, and the slightest offense has a scathing remark at the tip of his tongue in an instant, but Oikawa apparently isn’t finished.

“You have _one_ job on this island, and that is to train the assets placed under your care. You do _not_ get a say in the workings of this operation, you do _not_ get a say in what our investors decide to throw their money at, and you _do not ever_ think for one second that you are not replaceable.”

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but stiffen as Oikawa stepped closer with every statement, until he stood toe to toe with him, and made very apparent their difference in height.

“You were hired here because you were said to be the best, but the best does not mean the only one who can do what we need you to do. If you keep this attitude up I can and _will_ replace you, no matter how fond Kuroo-san is of you.”

With that Oikawa turns on his heel, not giving Iwaizumi the chance to even think of responding, and follows the way the investors had headed out.

It takes a few minutes for Iwaizumi to comprehend what just happened, and even when he thinks he has the image of Oikawa's furious face flashes before his eyes and he’s left reeling once again. What was that guy’s problem? It’s not _his_ fault the investors are a bunch of idiots who have their heads so far up their asses that they actually think anything they said was a good idea. Besides, even with all Oikawa claimed the fact still stands that he is the best at what he does for a reason, and no matter how badly the Park's Operation Manager wants him gone, the chances of Kuroo-san actually letting him are almost zero to none.

So Iwaizumi just shrugs the entire encounter off as he is prone too, because it is not worth the time nor energy to keep being angry about that asshole. If he maybe imagines the pig his Raptors are chasing after as Oikawa, well, only he has to know about that.

 

* * *

 

 

Oikawa prides himself on his ability to pick friends. Sure there were a few slip ups throughout his schooling career, but for the most part he’s made a number of friends he knows he can count on no matter what. Sugawara Koushi is one of these friends, regardless of whether he wants to be or not.

Oikawa figures it’s partly because Suga won’t put up with his bullshit at any point in time, and partly to do with their mothers being the best of friends even before they were born, leading to them never knowing a time when the other wasn’t around. Anywhere Oikawa went Suga was never far behind and vice versa, and seeing as the late Sugawara-san was often juggling two jobs to support her child as a single mother, it was quite frequent for Suga to spend the nights at the Oikawa household.

So yes, Suga may have never gotten the choice of whether he wanted to be friends with Oikawa or not, but that doesn't make their friendship any less valuable to either of them. Which is why it’s hard not to flinch at the downright _loathing_ glare he receives when he shows up with the investors in tow.

“Sugawara,” Oikawa starts out, trying not to shrink into himself as the glare deepens the slightest. “I’m so sorry we’re late, we got a bit tied up with the Raptor Exhibit. We are ready for the tour now.”

If it were anyone else, Oikawa wouldn’t be worried at possibly being yelled at in front of a group of potential investors in his park, especially by someone who technically works for him. Except, once again, Suga isn’t always known for his patience concerning Tooru. He hopes he looks pathetic enough that his silver haired friend will take pity for once.

His hopes must true for in an instant Suga’s glare clears and he’s throwing his signature smile at the investors, who had taken to observing the artifacts lining the walls of the Tour Guide Center.

“It’s no problem Oikawa-san,” he starts out, “I’m just glad you made it. I figured the Raptor visit would take longer than expected, so I took the liberty of clearing my schedule for the day and let Kiyoko-san take over my tours.”

It takes everything he has for Oikawa not to let out a sigh of relief when Ushijima and his partners seem to be taken in with Suga’s demeanor, Ushijima looking more welcoming than he has all day with any of the other employees of the park.

“Sugawara-san. I’m Ushijima Wakatoshi, head of Shiratorizawa’s Investment Agency. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Ushijima greets politely.

“Please, just call me Suga. Most people do here anyway.” The smile never leaves his face as he shakes Ushijima’s offered hand, or even when he notices the irritated glare thrown at him when the hand lingers too long from the blonde who stuck closest to Ushijima. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Ushijima-san.” he says.“ Your associates included.” he adds when the irritation on the blonde associates face deepens significantly.

Ushijima seems to understand what Suga noticed and quickly spares a glance at the blonde at his side. “Apologies Sugawara-san for not introducing them yet. These are the top employees at our agency Shirabu Kenjirou, Semi Eita, and Tendou Satori.”

With each name called one of the investors bowed toward Suga, though the one blonde one- Shirabu, he reminds himself- seemed to do so more grudgingly than not. Suga merely shakes it off as they rise.

“It’s a pleasure to have you at our park. Now if you will please make your way through those doors to your left, we can get this tour officially started.” With that he gestures toward the exit, where another man stands waiting. “Ennoshita will lead you to the first attraction we’ll be visiting.”

The investors follow the instructions, trailing behind Ennoshita dutifully. Oikawa is just about to make his way to follow them, when he feels a hand grab his shoulder.

“Oh Tooru~,” Suga singsongs, and Oikawa can feel himself pale the slightest bit when he turns to face his friends face. “If you ever surprise me with a group of investors ever again, I will not be so generous. You either give me at least a day’s notice, or you do not bother me, understood?”

Oikawa can only manage a shaky nod as he struggles to keep his expression clear, and then Suga’s smile returns and he pats his shoulder.

“Good! Now then, we better not keep your investors waiting now should we?”

Suga walks away before Oikawa can open his mouth to reply, and only when Suga is out of sight does he let out a shaky breath he’d been holding in as the tour guide spoke. It’s times like these he can never understand just why everyone seems to think Suga is an absolute angel between the two of them. If Sugas an angel Oikawa’s not sure he ever wants to make it to heaven. Suga assures him frequently that won’t ever be a problem.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly hadn't planned on updating so fast but I had time and inspiration so I'm not complaining.

“So between a  Stegosaurus and a Triceratops, who do you think would win in a fight?”

Oikawa has to bite back the groan threatening to escape as he hears Hanamaki’s snickering, though he doesn’t stop the eyeroll in time if the smirk on Matsukawas face is anything to go by.

“ _ Why _ , exactly, should I care about who wins?” He asks, and regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth when he sees the way Hanamaki’s eyes light up. “Wait no, nevermi-”

“I am  _ so  _ glad you asked Oikawa!” he exclaims as he swivels around in his chair. “Where would you like us to start exactly?”

“Makki,  _ no. _ ”

“How about we start with some basic things.”

Oikawa has never been more grateful that the control room is mostly empty by this time of night, because if there were more people around he wouldn't be able to deny pushing his pink haired friend right out of his chair as he bursts into laughter, Mattsun joining in not long after. 

“Can we  _ please  _ talk about something other than dinosaurs for 5 minutes? Are either of you physically capable of that?”

Oikawa tries to ignore the sense of dread that creeps down his spine when the two share a look, twin smirks dancing across their face and by the time they turn back to look at him he knows he’s made a mistake.

“Alright then, if that’s what you want.” Matsukawa says.

“Yeah, there are always other things we could talk about.” Hanamaki agrees easily. 

Oikawa waits for a beat when neither continue, only smiling innocently at him until he can  _ feel  _ himself fidgeting, then decides that, yes, he made a mistake but if he can just make it out the door…

“So on a scale of ‘ _ too hot’  _ to ‘ _ hot damn’ _ , how would you personally rate the new Raptor guy?”

“Oh my  _ god _ -”

“Because personally for me, I’m leaning more towards  _ ‘this girl is on fire’ _ but again that’s just me.”

Oikawa regrets many things in his life; he regrets never being around his nephew more as he grew up, never being able to repay Suga for all his years of friendship, and lastly regrets ever thinking that befriending Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei in college had been a good idea.

Any semblance of control either of the two airheads on the ground put on shatter the moment they see the outright  _ horror _ that crosses Oikawa’s face the more Hanamaki talks and once again Oikawa is left staring as they support each other through their laughter and tears.

“You are both terrible people and I do not know why i’m friends with either of you still.”

“Oh please, you love us. You’re just too scared to admit it.”

“Yeah, what Mattsun said.”

Oikawa merely scoffs but doesn’t try to hide the smile tugging at his lips as he turns back to the main screen at the front of the room. He hears his two friends eventually quiet down and return to their stations, and pull up a few of the cameras in their more active attractions.

“So how did the whole investor thing go anyway?” Hanamaki asks once they make sure nothing too important is going on that they should know about.

Oikawa groans in response, causing a snort out of Mattsun and a grin out of Makki. “It went as well as expected. We now have Shiratorizawa’s investment in the park but Ushiwaka and his merry band of misfits will be doing periodic checks on us and our progress in the ‘Indominus’ Project. 

At the name Indominus both Makki and Mattsun let out their own groan, causing Oikawa to merely roll his eyes. 

“Could you have picked a worse name? Seriously ‘Indominus” is the best they could come up with?”

“Next time you might as well just let our sponsors name a dinosaur.”

“Pepsisaurus.”

“Tostitodome.’  
“Ok yes, I get it, the name could have used some work, but the important thing i that the asset is nearly ready to be revealed to the public and we’ll be set for another year at least without worrying about declining interest rates.”

Makki and Mattsun are quite at that, and Oikawa raises an eyebrow when they share a look. 

“Oikawa, you  _ do  _ realize these are actually living creatures you’re talking about right?”

“They’re not just numbers and statistics on a piece of paper.”

“Of course I realize that,” Oikawa huffs indignantly. “But the fact still stands that we are a park that thrives on the popularity of its attractions. The moment we stop presenting the public with new and exciting factors is the moment we lose everything.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki can’t really say anything to that. So once again, they fall into silence, the only sounds being the soft tapping of keys as Oikawa works away.

“So on that note how about a game. Fuck, Marry, Kill, Dino edition. Anyone in?”

“There is something wrong with you.”

“That’s a matter of opinion”

“No, that's a matter of fact.”

 

* * *

 

 

  
When Oikawa returns to his home in the early hours of the morning it’s to the sight of Suga bustling about in the kitchen and the heavenly smell of Milk Bread in the air.

“Have I ever told you I love you?” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth and Suga’s laughter replaces the silence only found in the hours before dawn.

“Yes, but it wouldn’t kill you to say it more often.”

“I’ll try to do better if it gets these sort of surprises when I get home.”

Oikawa shrugs off his suit jacket and places his shoes by the front door before coming into the dining room just as Suga sets down the Milk Bread. They settle down quietly into their seats and give their thanks for the food before digging in.

“What brought this on anyway?” Oikawa inquires as he rips off a piece of his milk bread. “You’re hardly ever up by the time i come hope, let alone baking.”

Suga snorts as that.”I felt bad for snapping at you when you brought the investors over. I know you’ve been stressing about that visit for weeks now. So this is my apology.”

Oikawa isn’t quite sure what he ever did to deserve a friend as amazing as Suga is, but he never fails to thank whatever deity out there did it. Suga isn’t wrong in the fact that this visit has been weighing on Oikawa's mind since the moment Kuroo had told him about it. And since he and Suga had decided to move in together once they had been hired at the park, Suga has had to deal with his random outbursts and stress-fueled rage. Of course, it being Suga and all, the silver haired man had never held it against him or took it personally. That doesn’t stop the guilt of snapping at Suga, at  _ Koushi  _ of all people.

“Tooru,”

A flick on his forehead brings Oikawa back from his musings, and he is greeted by a soft smile right in front of him and a hand carding through his hair. 

“You’re thinking too hard again.  _ Relax _ . The park will survive if you take just five minutes to yourself for once.”

Oikawa hums. “That’s what  _ you  _ think Koushi. Obviously you’ve never had to supervise a room of overgrown children on computers before. Its harder than you would think.”

A huff, and the fingers leave his hair. “Oh i’m sure. It’s not as if I have to deal with thousands of tourists with  _ actual  _ screaming kids on a daily basis.”

“See, I’m happy we could reach an agreement.” 

Suga replies with an eyeroll as he picks up their dishes and places them in the sink, a problem for tomorrow when it’s not closing in nearly 4 in the morning.”If that’s what you want to call it then fine. Anything to help you sleep at night.”

Oikawa smiles softly while he watches Suga pick up the kitchen a bit, eyes drooping as the day finally starts to catch up to him. He must have dozed for a few minutes, because one moment Suga is on the opposite end of the kitchen, the next he’s leaning over him as he shakes his shoulder lightly.

“Tooru come on, time for bed.”

A soft grunt, followed by a slurred mumble that had probably been meant as a sentence that merely turned into grumbling, and has Suga laughing at him even as he pulls his sleep deprived friend out of the chair.

“Yes yes, I know your’R tired, and as much as I’d love to let you sleep in the kitchen chair, dealing with you whining tomorrow when you wake up sore and tense is not worth any amusement I’d get out of it. So, the bed it is.” With that he directs Oikawa through the hallway leading to Oikawas room, where he ushers him into to get changed.

“Please don’t forget to actually put pants on tonight,” Suga says. “I don’t want a repeat of last week. No offense, but even being your friend all these years isn’t an excuse for me to see all  _ that _ . Keep it in your pants, or keep it outta the house.”

“Koushi are you my mother?”

“With the way you need babying most nights to actually make it into the bed and not just crashed out on the floor by the door I might as well be. Oikawa-san has been grooming me for years to take her place as your mom when you left the house. I don't want to disappoint.”

Another hum, this time softer than the last as Oikawa methodically changes into his sleep wear, making exaggerated movements when putting on the pants so Suga can rest easy knowing he put them on this time, before turning to the silver haired man in his doorway.

“Anything else mom?”

“Cute. Next time I’ll just let you sleep in the kitchen chair. See how smart that mouth of yours is when you’re all stiff with a crick in your neck.”

With that, Suga turns off the light, watching as Oikawa climbs into his bed and raises his arm invitingly. Suga shakes his head. “Not tonight. I have a meeting with one of the security officers that works in your elite unit in the morning.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow as he lowers his arm. “Oh, a meeting huh? Would this ‘meeting’ be with a certain black haired officer that has the positively  _ delicious  _ thighs you were rambling about when we went drinking last?”

Its not often Oikawa is the one to cause Suga to blush, but when ever he can it never fails to be satisfying. Now is no different as he watches his friends pale skin turn the slightest shade of pink even as his grin widens.

“His name is Daichi, and yes the meeting is with him. We had a small incident a few days with some of the smaller dinosaurs getting loose in the middle of a tour. He’s arranging for my groups to have additional security in order to ensure no visitor gets hurt.”

“Uh huh, see all I’m hearing is that you are going on a date with Thigh-chan in the morning an have somehow fooled yourself into thinking it’s entirely professional.

“Okay,  _ goodnight  _ Tooru.”

“‘Night Koushi.”

Suga starts to make his way back to his own room when he suddenly remember something. “Oh Tooru?” He calls out from the hallway.  
“Hm?”

“I forgot to tell you earlier but your sister called. She wanted to remind you that you’re picking of Takeru tomorrow at the dock at noon and to not be late.”

Any chance of tiredness that Oikawa may have felt previously is suddenly gone the moment Sugas words. He forgot about tomorrow. He forgot his sister planning to send his nephew to visit for a week or two while she finalizes her divorce, forgot that he is supposed to be babysitting Takeru at all period.

“Tooru?”

“...Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update as quickly as possible, hopefully at least once a week. Comments of course always inspire me to write more though! ^ ^ Also feel free to come shout at me on Tumblr!  
> A-Sirens-Lullaby.tumblr.com


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